10 qualities we look for in a lover and 10 things we overlook

Data collected from more than 700,000 people by online matchmakers eHarmony found the overwhelming majority rated friendship the most important trait (92 per cent for women and 82 per cent for men) in a relationship.

Good chemistry was next, followed by "enjoying the way my partner makes me feel".

"Physical closeness" was rated more highly than sexual compatibility - except for those aged between 35 and 39, who were more preoccupied with good sex than other age groups.

But the real surprises came when people were asked what they didn't care about when looking for a potential partner.

How much a person smoked or drank, their age, personal beliefs and how educated they were - all made it into the top 10 LEAST important traits.

According to eHarmony's Sarah Mason this is not because Australians are becoming less choosy - or more desperate.

"(These results show) we’re seeking true compatibility and personal connections and that despite what we may think and agonise over, habits and physical traits really don’t account for much when it comes to finding a long term partner,” she said.

"Australians don’t completely ignore physical attributes like sexual compatibility, but ultimately it’s not in the top 10.

"Men still tend to rank physical appearance and intimacy higher than women, but overall less than half of all respondents think physical appearance is an important quality in their partner."

THE TEN MOST IMPORTANT QUALITIES WHEN LOOKING FOR LOVE
1. Friendship
2. Chemistry
3. Enjoying the way I feel around my partner
4. Being open about how he/she feels towards me
5. Personality
6. Kindness
7. Romantic attraction
8. Being able to talk about personal problems
9. Being able to discuss how I feel about him/her
10. Physical closeness

THE TEN LEAST IMPORTANT QUALITIES WHEN LOOKING FOR LOVE

1. My partner’s beliefs
2. The amount they smoke
3. Age
4. The amount they drink
5. Ethnicity
6. Height
7. Education
8. Income
9. Religion
10. Knowing they are to blame when things go wrong

TOP FIVE VALUES HELD BY MEN

1. Friendship
2. Chemistry
3. Being open about how she feels towards me
4. Enjoying the way I feel around my partner
5. Physical closeness

TOP FIVE VALUES HELD BY WOMEN

1. Friendship
2. Chemistry
3. Enjoying the way I feel around my partner
4. Kindness
5. Personality

TOP QUALITIES BY AGE
18-24 year olds

1. Enjoying the way I feel around my partner
2. The friendship between my partner and I
3. The chemistry between my partner and I
4. My partner’s personality
5. Having my partner be open with me about how he/ she feels towards me

25-34 year olds

1. The friendship between my partner and I
2. The chemistry between my partner and I
3 Enjoying the way I feel around my partner
4. My partner’s personality
5. Having my partner be open with me about how he/ she feels towards me

35-49 year olds

1.The friendship between my partner and I
2. The chemistry between my partner and I
3. Enjoying the way I feel around my partner
4. Having my partner be open with me about how he/ she feels towards me
5. My partner’s personality

50 and over

1.The friendship between my partner and I
2. The chemistry between my partner and I
3. Having my partner be open with me about how he/ she feels towards me
4. Enjoying the way I feel around my partner
5. My partner’s kindness